NCAA Division I Basketball National Champions in 2008!!!
Not much else to say...What a great weekend to beat North Carolina by 18...and then win one of the best National Title games in recent memory. Down 9 points with less than 2 minutes in the game...Huge shots, made free throws, 3 pointers by Collins and the Unbelievably clutch shot by Mario Chalmers.
(Did I mention BCS Orange Bowl champs, too??)
What a great year to be a Jayhawk!
Here's the scene of 40,000 Hawk fans crowding downtown Lawrence on Mass Street:
After a little hiatus from "God in the News" I'm glad to report that it's back, in all of its Omnipotent News Glory. I know that I normally start out by telling you that "The World is Ending" but I think I'll stay away from that this time. Why? Because apparently the world is NOT ending. Need proof???
**End of the World?**
Members of a Russian cult are starting to trickle out of a cave, where they had holed themselves up since last November to await the end of the world, which is apparently supposed to happen this May. Self-declared prophet Pyotr Kuznetsov "left his family and established the True Russian Orthodox Church and recruited followers in Russia and Belarus. His followers were not allowed to watch television, listen to the radio or handle money, Russian media have reported."
I think people are being a little hard on Pyotr here. He was an engineer from a devout Russian family, so clearly he abandoned the material things in life in order to serve God. And doesn't it even say somewhere in the Bible that we're not allowed to watch television or listen to the radio?? (source needed)
So why did the cult...ahem, Church members decide to come out into the open? Did they come to their senses and realize that maybe the world really isn't going to end this May?? Or did this have something to do with it?
"[Last] Friday...melting spring snows caused part of the shelter to cave in, sparking fears that the entire structure could collapse....and more of the cave had collapsed around dawn Tuesday. Cult members told emergency officials that they had had a divine vision overnight that instructed them to leave."
I imagine that this divine vision looked something like a coal miner with a light strapped to his head, shouting in a Scotish accent, "Get the hell out of here!! She's goin to crumble!" Ahh, divine visions...we should all be so lucky.
Who is this man? a) Borat, b) Gary Oldman, c) cult leader Pyotr Kuznetsov
**End of your credit?**
Well shoot! If we can't trust a guy who is a self-proclaimed prophet, then who can we trust? Luckily we have actual ordained pastors, ministers and priests on our side. Such as the Rev. Raymond Clayton, former pastor of a Northumberland County [Pennsylvania] church. Last Monday Rev. Clayton plead guilty in federal court to a charge of access device fraud, in which he acknowledged using parishioners' personal information to obtain credit cards.
"Following the plea, 83-year-old church member Patricia Tomedi said, 'Thank God.' Tomedi says she's lost 20 pounds since Clayton was charged with stealing church members' identities. Her's was one of the Social Security numbers he used.'
I really don't see how people are viewing this as a bad thing. The way I see it Rev. Clayton is simply on to a better weight-loss scheme than Jered's Subway sandwiches. Tomedi said she lost 20 pounds!!!! That's fantastic! It really sheds a whole new light on the if-life-hands-you-lemons-make-lemonade viewpoint.... So if-your-pastor-steals-your-identity-curl-up-in-a-little-ball-stop-eating-and-lose-weight. It's got a certain ring to it. God's diet plan at work!
**Wright vs. Right??**
In recent news, we've all seen the video clips of Barack Obama's former pastor Rev. Wright. In the heat of the moment, he's made some pretty outlandish claims. And even though Obama says that he denounces any type of anti-American statements made by Rev. Wright, it appears that the political right-wing still wants to tie Obama to those comments. And why not?? I mean, look at the claims that Rev. Wright is making....In the middle of a sermon trying to challenge his congregation to think about things, Wright said that instead of blessing America, blacks should damn it for its mistreatment of them and suggested that the nation had brought the attacks of Sept. 11 on itself.
We have to think about this rationally, people. How can the Sept. 11th attacks have been brought upon by ourselves, when we know fully well that the truth behind the Sept. 11th attacks was clearly stated by Rev. Jerry Falwell:
"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"
Evangelist Pat Robertson's immediate response to Falwell's claim: "Well, I totally concur."
See, now THAT makes sense! As we all know, one of the main items of the homosexual agenda is to ruin the institution of marriage....by being allowed to be part of it. Kind of like the kids on the playground who stink at kickball yet want to play, too: Don't they know that by joining the game, their awkwardness and lack of skills ruins the game?? So they should just be left out! They can go play 4-square or hopscotch, though...that's almost the same, right?
So basically we need to continue trying to ban gays from getting married. And not just for the fact that we don't approve of who they're sleeping with, but rather a much more noble cause: to prevent more attacks on our country by radical Islamic terrorists. Because everyone can see how closely those two things are linked.
**Right vs. Marriage??**
The sanctity of marriage must be protected! Think about what we're looking to protect here: One man. One woman. One wedding dress made from toilet paper. These things are crucial to our stable way of life here in America. Marriage is something that needs to be taken seriously. It is a covenant of love made before the eyes of God. And who doesn't want to stand before God wearing this:
Personally I would have thought strapless the way to go, but maybe she just needed to finish off the last of the roll. And if she did, I can just see the lucky groom on their honeymoon, sitting on the toilet and noticing that there is no more toilet paper.... "Honey, if you're going to use the last of the toilet paper, please at least be courteous enough to let me wipe with your wedding dress!"
I guess when you really think about it, maybe we should let anyone marry whomever they wish. Hell, if Gary Coleman can get married to a woman twice his size, then why not, right? This is obviously what God had in mind for marriage:
And if marriage really does make you smarter, as a recent article tries to suggest, then that might explain Coleman's stupidity beforehand, thinking that he was still a celebrity that needed to get married in secret. However, does it really explain his recent ad with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?
(Ever wondered why Gary Coleman isn't invited to your Thanksgiving? Just watch him eat)
"The Seattle Biomedical Research Institute will pay volunteers as much as $4,000 to be bitten by mosquitoes infected with malaria. Scientists say no lives are in danger because the volunteers can be cured. The institute is testing which vaccines work fastest."
