From Rosie to Whoopi: We're in Good Hands

I love when television producers are full of integrity. Take for example the tv show 'The View' on ABC which is in it's 11th season. It first began as basically a gossip-related show hosted by four women during a time-slot that no normal working person was even able to see anyways. Well, the time-slot may not have changed, but the opinions - you know, the Views - certainly have. Enter Rosie O'Donnell. Her stay lasted only a year and her exit was said to have been because of a contract dispute. It probably didn't have anything to do with the fact that her views on certain issues are so flippin' crazy that she gives the true liberals a horrible name. Naaaaahhhh, couldn't have been that!

In fact, here is an excerpt from the Popular Mechanics article regarding Rosie's views of the events of 9/11: "While saying she didn’t know what to believe about the U.S. government’s involvement in the attacks of Sept. 11, she said, 'I do believe that it’s the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel. I do believe that it defies physics that World Trade Center tower 7—building 7, which collapsed in on itself—it is impossible for a building to fall the way it fell without explosives being involved. World Trade Center 7. World Trade [Center] 1 and 2 got hit by planes—7, miraculously, the first time in history, steel was melted by fire. It is physically impossible.'
She continued: 'To say that we don’t know that it imploded, that it was an implosion and a demolition, is beyond ignorant. Look at the films, get a physics expert here [on the show] from Yale, from Harvard, pick the school—[the collapse] defies reason.'"

By Rosie saying that she's not sure what to believe about the U.S. governemnt's involvement on September 11th, 2001 IS IN FACT SAYING that she knows exactly what she believes. I have as much disdain and disgust at the extraordinarily horrible policies enacted by the Bush administration as anyone else; but, for Rosie to make these types of claims only hurts the good cause against the actual failed and harmful policies. Her claims are paranoid delusions that are fed to her from a plate of ignorance and she is either too lazy or too naive to stop herself from blindly ingesting anything and everything from that plate. She might as well have grabbed something off the sampler tray such as Richard Nixon told Jackie Gleason that UFOs were real. In fact, I'd actually find it easier to digest that "Ralph Cramden" (or Sheriff Buford T. Justice if you prefer) was given permission from Tricky Dick to view a downed UFO and dead aliens from the Roswell crash! I know that I'd suffer less heartburn swallowing that, than I would from Rosie's conspiracy theories. The events of 9/11 played out according to simple physics, Rosie. Maybe try grabbing an appetizer from the plate of reality and you might like the taste. After all, reality is life's Pepto-Bismol.

In the end 'The View' and Rosie O'Donnell severed ties and went on their separate ways. But ABC realized that having such a polarizing figure on their show was good for ratings. True, it's harmful to common sense, but it's nothing that a few extra bucks in ad revenue can't remedy. So ABC decided to hire someone to replace Rosie O'Donnell. Enter Whoopi Goldberg. She'd at least probably ease herself into the comfort of the show without making an ass of herself the very first day, right? Ummm... well, ya see..... (Insert me hanging my head in shame and sighing deeply)

From the MSNBC article "Whoopi starts quick on 'View,' defends Vick:

"Whoopi Goldberg used her first day on the daytime chat show Tuesday to defend football star Michael Vick in his dogfighting case. Goldberg said that 'from where he comes from' in the South, dogfighting isn’t that unusual. 'It’s like cockfighting in Puerto Rico,' she said. 'There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country.'"

Oh, Whoopi! I guess you're right. I mean, in areas of the South where Vick is from it's also said that inbreeding is popular...at least there are lots of jokes that say so. And because that's just part of the 'culture of the South' it shouldn't be frowned upon. Those people in the South just don't know that it's wrong. It's not their fault. According to other arguments defending Vick, dogfighting isn't wrong when we have people who hunt. And how can we all be so blind as to not see that rationale? In the South, dogs are probably overpopulated anyway. We should just have open season on them. Come to think of it, I also think that people aren't cruel enough in their hunting of deer. Why are we not hanging the deer with a noose? or drowning them? Come on hunters! Get on that!

When asked about dog-turture and dog-murdering, Whoopi used her own massive intellect to respond. "For many people, dogs are sport, Goldberg replied, and it appeared it took a while for Vick to realize that he was up against serious charges. 'I just thought it was interesting,' [she said] 'because it seemed like a light went off in his head when he realized this was something that the entire country didn’t appreciate.'”

Now I get it. It was just a shock to Michael Vick to learn that all of the underground activities that he was trying to keep so secret were actually against the law and frowned upon by society. How embarassing! Had he only known that people "didn't appreciate" that type of behavior he could have saved himself all of this tedious business.

Thanks for clearing up this whole confusing mess Whoopi. I can see that 'The View' is in good hands with it's new co-host. Ratings are sure to stay high at least. And maybe, just maybe, we can get Whoopi to try opining that Jackie Gleason saw the crashed debris and aliens from the UFO that crashed in Roswell, NM in 1947. Really, all we'd have to do is serve the suggestion up to her on Rosie's dinner tray - there is no way she'd be able to stop herself from digging in. And what a relief that is to know...for ABC. Because I know that I'm watching the UFO episode clips on YouTube, that's for sure!!